Goals and Reasons for Absence

I love to write.  I love that blogs are actually a thing, because in a way, they are like a diary but also accessible by others. Maybe some novelists were discovered through their personal stories on their personal blogs.

In some ways, having a blog is refreshing. It's a means of escape from the world. This is a place where I can write just as me. I can write about being a mom- which is how this whole blog came to be.

I can write about what it means to me to be the mom of a Type One Diabetic. It's rough, but it has also strengthened me. It's also a reason for absence from more regular posts. Being the parent of a Type One Diabetic  preschooler takes an immense amount of brain power. And it also involves sleepless nights. Therefore, when I could choose to stay up late or get up early to write a post, I choose to sleep or rest instead.

Back to the essence of the blog- once I discovered link-ups, the blog became a way to connect with more people. Each link-up is like a prompted writing post and I LOVE those! The link-ups foster a sense of community and for that, I am grateful.

In my life recently, I have been very overwhelmed and tired. Part of that is due to what I've mentioned above about being the parent of a child with a chronic disease. Part of it is due to working at home. My job is computer based, so I'm already sitting in front of a computer for 8+ hours a day. During my breaks or lunch time, I like to do non-computery things like fold laundry, load & unload the dishwasher, vacuum, or TAKE A NAP. These are all luxuries that I couldn't do during breaks if I was in an office setting, and they'd all be waiting for me when I returned home in the afternoons  (aside from taking a nap, which would no longer be an option since I'd have chores to do).  When I was in an office setting, I'd write blog posts on my breaks and my lunch. At home, it's different. When my shift is done, I jump in the car to get my boys and when I return home, I chill on the couch with them until it's time to make supper. The rest of this week, though, I'll be working overtime, so I do apologize in advance if I don't post again this week.

I do read blogs everyday. And God bless the people who keep a regular blog. I have about 10 that I check daily and about 6 or 7 of them (it varies which ones) have new posts to read. This is how I start my day. I lay in bed and read some blogs before it's really time for my feet to hit the floor.

Part of my blog irregularity is because sometimes I don't think I have enough fodder to make a post exciting. I also struggle with knowing what to write about sometimes. I don't want to only do link-ups, although it's nice to have the topic already picked for me. I feel like the other Type One parents who read the blog don't care to read about link-ups, so I do try to write about diabetes as well. Not only for an audience,  (because, is there really one?) but I write about diabetes because I want to reread these posts some day in the future and see how far we've come.

I also love to write about my kids but I like to include so much detail  (again, for remembrance purposes) that sometimes, it gets overwhelming to try to capture all the detail and then the post doesn't get written and the memory fades.

Sometimes I feel like I just don't have enough brain capacity to keep up with it all.

Sometimes, life just gets in the way. Sometimes, it's the slowness of life that gets in the way. For example, on Friday March 4th, our house was shown. On Saturday March 5th, I received an email from my realtor saying the person was deciding between our house and one more and they requested to see the property disclosure form (where we have to say if we replaced the dishwasher, ceiling fan, etc).  My realtor said she'd keep me posted. I haven't heard anything since. Today is the 14th. I checked my email like a crazy person last week  (and admittedly, today) hoping that there'd be some news. Even to say "they chose the other house." We've been in this position at least 3 other times since listing our house last May.  We've been told "they're deciding between your house and one more," or "they're deciding between your house and two others." So we wait. And wait. And sometimes we are told "they chose the other house." Sometimes we're told "they found another house online that they were going to go see this weekend, and I haven't heard from their realtor since." So waiting is hard. It's hard not to get our hopes up.  I so desperately want to be closer to family and to live in the school district where I want my boys to attend. I know that one of these times, when someone is deciding between my house and another, that they'll pick my house. I know it will happen. But the waiting is hard, and it's discouraging.

I find that in these discouraging moments, I overeat. Today's confession: I made cookies during my break and I ate about a quarter of the cookie dough. So sad. I kind of want to blame my messed up eating habits on my headache medicine since it all kind of started at the same time. But I also know, I have to exert self control, and in that, I am not doing well.

But tomorrow is a brand new day. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.

So I'm praying that I'll get motivated to eat healthier. I'm praying that my email inbox will show a response about our house showing.  I'm praying that my oldest son's blood sugars stay in range (today, all but one blood sugar reading was IN RANGE! HALLELUJAH!) I'm praying that my youngest son sleeps past 5:45 in the morning! Time change fooled him only Sunday when he slept til 6:45, but today he was back at his 5:45 wake up time.

When I find spare moments to write, I plan to do another installment of "things my kids say" (I've been keeping a list). I also plan to write about the girl baby shower two other friends and I threw for another friend of ours this past weekend. I will also write about our summer plans. It's gonna be a good summer! I can feel it!

So keep checking back. I appreciate everyone who reads this blog.

Until next time,
Much love, Reba