Thursday, October 13, 2016

What Am I Doing???

I work for the government.  I happily (repeat: HAPPILY) am able to work from home.  If I couldn't work from home, I'm not sure I'd still be there.  Working from home totally aids in work/life balance. 
When I was pregnant with both of my boys, I never questioned if I would work after giving birth.  I didn't have a choice.  I had to work.  My husband didn't make enough for us to live off of without my assistance with an income.  So, I worked.  I took 6 weeks of maternity leave with Michael, and 8 weeks with Noah (there was a time in the pregnancy where we thought I might have to have a C-section, and the pregnancy was then deemed high-risk, so I scheduled 8 weeks off just to be safe).  After those maternity leaves, I headed back to work.  At this point in time, working at home was not available.  So, I brought my pump-in-a-backpack, and a lunch bag, and my purse, and an extra bag (filled with extra clothes, extra pumping supplies, etc) to work with me everyday.  I pumped in a supply room, and in a training room for 9 months after having Michael, and for 6 months after having Noah.  Pumping and working and working and pumping was hard.  But you know what was harder?  Being away from my kids!

My mother-in-law has cared for them during the day since Michael was 6 weeks old (aside from a 3-month stint where she had to have wrist surgery, and I had to put the boys in daycare).  I know they are awesomely loved and cared for, but my mama heart still aches that I can't be around them all day long.  Now, as far as I know and as far as I've been told, both boys took their first crawl and their first steps in front of me... but that could just be what I've been told so that I don't have a bigger heartache.  Regardless, I missed out on a lot of those first milestones with my sweet babies. 

Aaron and I are planning to try to have a third child in 2017.  We believe that our family will be complete with a third child.  Of course, we're hoping for a girl, but we've picked out a name for a boy just in case (after all, our track record is not good for making girls!).  Although I still have my government job, at least I'm working from home.  That will make the transition back to work much easier for me once maternity leave is finished.  It will also allow me MUCH more freedom in pumping.  No longer will I be pumping in a room full of computers with a post-it note taped over the peep-hole in the door! 

I am not currently pregnant, but we plan to start trying at the later part of this year.  We appreciate your prayers, for sure. 

In some ways, this is a leap of faith.  I wouldn't say that I worry about Noah getting Type 1 Diabetes, but I am very aware of any changes in his physical behaviors.  In some ways, I wonder if having a third child is a good idea.  That thought is always quickly pushed away and made captive to Christ, because I know that His plan is not to harm us.  He has a future and a hope planned for each one of my sweet babies.  Even if Noah, or Baby #3 ends up with Type 1 Diabetes, it wouldn't be a surprise to God.  If He calls us to it, He'll bring us through it.  I fully believe that.  I do not love Michael any less because he has an incurable illness.  I love him more and more every single day.  So, I cannot worry about whether any of my other children (present or future) will get Type 1.  It wouldn't even matter.  I will love them so fiercely no matter what. 

Wow.  This post wasn't even supposed to be about babies or Type 1, but here we are.  I guess I'll write my intended post for another day.  :)  Clearly, this was the purpose God had for this post now.

Until Next Time,
Much love, Reba

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