My son started kindergarten this year. He's had Type One Diabetes for three years now-- over half his life. During this time, my husband and I have become the Masters of his Diabetes and handle everything on our own. We communicate with the endocrinology staff at our children's hospital occasionally, but mostly, we have it down. That doesn't make it easy. It doesn't mean we sleep. But it does mean that we shoulder this burden until our son is old enough to understand it and want to take some of the responsibility upon himself. This might take years, and it will certainly be years until he's fully responsible for himself. Until that time, he's going to be a kid and we're going to let him be a kid.
We explained all of this to Michael's teacher at our 504 meeting a couple days before school started. Michael's teacher had a friend with Type One while growing up, and this made us feel slightly better. At the meeting, the teacher even asked "So, if we have a special treat or a party in class..." and my husband and I responded simultaneously "Let him participate." We made it clear that he could eat anything as long as he's bolused for it (receives insulin for it).
Three weeks into school, they had a Muffins with Moms event (I couldn't go because I just had our third child, so I sent my mother in law). That day, my mother in law tells me that every kid was told they could only have 1 muffin. My son asked for another one and instead of saying that each kid could only have 1 because that was the rule, the teacher says "no, your sugar is too high." I was so disappointed to hear that because I've never told him to his face that he can't have something due to his blood sugar. If the rule is you can only have 1 muffin, then that's what I tell my son. So, needless to say I was disappointed in the teacher.
Then last Monday was Johnny Appleseed day, and the class had cupcakes (after afternoon snack). The nurse calls me to say my son was having a fit because the teacher told him he'd have to take his cupcake home. The nurse called to make sure he could eat it at school, so I said absolutely and we figured out the carb count. I told her that the most important thing is for him to not be left out. I made sure he was going to be taken back to class in order to eat his cupcake with all the other kids (where fortunately they were waiting on him).
It's so sad to me that people just don't get it and that our kids are singled out. As my mother in law said so well, it takes less time to correct a blood sugar than to correct a low self esteem.
Fortunately, Michael arrived home all smiles with a construction paper Johnny Appleseed hat. He told me all about Johnny Appleseed and about the cupcake that he got to eat. I hope he always remembers the best parts of his day rather than the parts diabetes screws up or influences others to make statements about.
That night, I knew I had to do something. I have to protect my kid. I can't keep sending him to school in a classroom where the teacher is holding his diabetes against him as a reason for him not to get something. I calmly wrote a letter and phrased it in a way my Mom would be proud of. My Mom is fond of the phrase "Sure you can!" because it empowers someone to do something they didn't think they could do, or change the way they're behaving in an effort to behave in a more positive manner. I opened the letter's wording by saying how impressed I was that Michael was actually reading books!!! (True story: my kid can READ!!!) I then said how important education was to us, and how in order for Michael to get the most out of his education, he has to feel normal. I explained again how we shoulder the burden of diabetes and have never used diabetes as a reason why Michael cannot have something. I then thanked the teacher for letting Michael eat his cupcake in class and for joining us in making sure he feels like all the other boys and girls in his classroom. The letter made me feel better because it was a stress reliever to know I was arming my child with a shield of protection in the form of reiteration of our stance on diabetes issues with his teacher. It made me feel even better about it by knowing I kept my cool and worded my letter as a "thank-you" rather than in a berating manner.
After I get things off my chest and clear my mind like that, I'm way better at focusing on other issues-- like being thankful for the sleep that I do get despite a newborn and Type One.
Until Next Time,
Much love, Reba
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