I catch myself thinking about what it was like to be a first-time mom of a newborn.
I was so hard on myself and so unsure of everything.
Now, I'm a mom to a 3 year old (excuse me?) and an 18-month old.
I remember the moment Michael made his entrance into the world. I remember the moment very clearly and I thought "My entire life has changed forever with this little person." I was instantly scared. It's one thing to be pregnant and dream of being a mommy. It's another thing to actually hold the newborn baby in your arms and realize that you are the provider for this tiny little human. I remember being joyful, of course, but I also remember being afraid.
I remember the first night in the hospital, holding Michael during a blood sugar check on his tiny heel. This was a normal procedure for babies. Michael's blood sugar was too low. This is why he had to stay in the extended care nursery during our entire hospital stay. He had to be hooked up to an IV to make sure his blood sugar didn't drop too low. I remember the nurse standing in my room that night and telling me that my baby was not able to stay with me. I remember calling my dad, and I remember blubbering to my mom that Michael couldn't stay with us. I thought he was going to die.
I remember going to the nursery every 3 hours during our hospital stay to feed Michael. I went alone sometimes. I felt very alone. I felt like I would never get the chance to hold my baby without tubes connected to him.
I remember asking my doctor if I'd be able to stay in the hospital if Michael ended up having to stay. I remember him shaking his head and telling me "No."
I remember when Michael was FINALLY able to come to our room. His blood sugar had to be above 30. I remember the nurse putting him in my arms and telling me to feed him with every ounce of energy I had.
I remember Michael's pediatrician coming into the room an hour and a half later to be present during the follow-up blood sugar check. Michael's blood sugar was 31. He could go home.
I remember her telling me that I had to follow up every feeding with a tiny bit of formula-- to make sure Michael had enough in him to keep his blood sugar steady. I remember scribbling notes as fast as I could while she talked. I asked her what to look for so that I would know what constituted a low blood sugar.
I remember being TERRIFIED during my first week home with him. I worried about him so much. It was endlessly tiring to feed him formula after every feeding.
I remember our one-week check-up. I held Michael's heel so that it would be warm enough for the blood sugar check. He passed.
Fast forward nearly two years later. Michael was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes and blood sugars became the name of the game.
Fast forward one year after diagnosis and here I sit. I don't worry....as much. But those early day memories sure are flooding in these days.
Until Next Time,
Much love, Reba
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Show and Tell Tuesday: Where Was I on 09/11?
Today I'm linking up with Andrea at Momfessionals for Show and Tell Tuesday. The topic this time is "Where Were You on 09/11?"
Whenever I think back on 09/11, I always equate it with Pearl Harbor Day. Whoever was alive on December 7, 1941 will always remember where they were on that day. The same holds true for those of us alive on 09/11.
I was living in Honolulu, Hawaii at the time. Since the attacks happened in the morning, it was about 4:00am in the islands. My parents received a call from one of my grandparents on the eastern side of the mainland. My parents woke up my older brother and they tuned in to the local news channels as things unfolded. My parents chose to let my younger brother and me continue to sleep. I was 14.
When I got up, my dad put his arm around my shoulder and walked with me into our living room. He said "Our country was attacked early this morning in a terrorist attack. We will be at war." My heart sank. It's a weird feeling when someone tells you that freedom was robbed, and your country will soon be at war. New York City is my favorite city in the world, and I ached for the families of those who were killed. My dad's mom lives just north of Washington D.C., and we made sure to connect with her to verify that she was okay.
My older brother went to his high-school and my younger brother went down the street to the elementary school. I was home-schooled at the time, and I did my classes through videos. Every time I changed a video for a different subject that day, the news would be on the TV. It was hard to turn away. I remember that my mom had to work that day (she's a nurse) and she called me at lunchtime to tell me not to watch TV. She told me to change out my videos without looking at the ever-unfolding news stories. It was hard not to look.
My dad was the pastor of a Southern Baptist church on O'ahu. The congregation was 95% military families. Prior to 09/11, it was very easy for a civilian to get on base (Hickam Air Force Base, Pearl Harbor Naval Base, Schofield Barracks, Tripler Army Medical Hospital, etc.). The military used their alphabetical codes to alert us to the threat level of the base. Most of the time prior to 09/11, the code was A for Alpha. Very easy for a civilian to get on base. Just tell the guards where you were going, and off you went. On 09/11, things changed. It was a shut down. The code went to D for Delta and stayed there for weeks. Every car was searched. Civilians were pretty much guaranteed not to be allowed on base. This really hindered my dad's ability to visit church members. After a few weeks (or maybe months?) the code became C for Charlie, and military personnel could meet a civilian at the guard shack to obtain a visitor pass to get on base. By the time I could drive, which was 2 years after 09/11, the code was B for Bravo. It still required me to pull over at the guard shack and wait for my military-family friends to come obtain a visitor pass for me, but at least we were able to get back on base.
In April 2002, my mom and I flew to Tampa Florida to meet up with my grandmother and a group in her community who were travelling to New York City for a broadway show trip. While we were in NYC, we stopped by Ground Zero. There was still so much debris.
In March of 2005, my older brother got an opportunity to play with our Hawaiian high school's wind ensemble at Carnegie Hall. He flew to NYC with the other members of the band, and my parents and younger brother and I followed a few days later to hear him play. My parents, younger brother and I stopped at a Burger King near Ground Zero and the upper level of Burger King had windows overlooking Ground Zero. Three and a half years after the attacks, and clean-up was still going on. My dad, younger brother, and some of our grandparents, went to see Ground Zero on that trip. I stayed behind with my mom and we just watched from the windows.
In 2006, I went to college and met a girl there who would soon become one of my very best friends. She was from New Jersey. I'll never forget the things she told me when we got on the topic of 09/11 one day. Her aunt worked in Manhattan and was running late and missed the bus to work-- at the World Trade Center. She decided since she was late, she might as well be later, and get a nice coffee at Starbucks. When she stepped out of Starbucks, she saw the smoke. Had she been on time, she would have been in the towers. She told my friend never to be angry if you're running late because there's a purpose for everything.
This friend was attending a New Jersey middle school on 09/11. She said that during the day, the teachers started closing the blinds in the classrooms. Then periodically, office staff would come get certain children out of their rooms. The student body later learned that the teachers closed the blinds in order for the children not to see the smoke on the skyline. The children who were pulled out of classes were children whose parents worked at the towers. My friend said she could smell the smoke as school got out that day.
The whole day is enveloped in tragedy.
I have heard great things, though, about the 09/11 Memorial Museum in Manhattan. I hope to be able to see it someday.
09/11 is a day I'll remember forever, as should we all.
Where were you on 09/11?
Linking up with Andrea today at Momfessionals.
Until Next Time,
Much Love, Reba
Whenever I think back on 09/11, I always equate it with Pearl Harbor Day. Whoever was alive on December 7, 1941 will always remember where they were on that day. The same holds true for those of us alive on 09/11.
I was living in Honolulu, Hawaii at the time. Since the attacks happened in the morning, it was about 4:00am in the islands. My parents received a call from one of my grandparents on the eastern side of the mainland. My parents woke up my older brother and they tuned in to the local news channels as things unfolded. My parents chose to let my younger brother and me continue to sleep. I was 14.
When I got up, my dad put his arm around my shoulder and walked with me into our living room. He said "Our country was attacked early this morning in a terrorist attack. We will be at war." My heart sank. It's a weird feeling when someone tells you that freedom was robbed, and your country will soon be at war. New York City is my favorite city in the world, and I ached for the families of those who were killed. My dad's mom lives just north of Washington D.C., and we made sure to connect with her to verify that she was okay.
My older brother went to his high-school and my younger brother went down the street to the elementary school. I was home-schooled at the time, and I did my classes through videos. Every time I changed a video for a different subject that day, the news would be on the TV. It was hard to turn away. I remember that my mom had to work that day (she's a nurse) and she called me at lunchtime to tell me not to watch TV. She told me to change out my videos without looking at the ever-unfolding news stories. It was hard not to look.
My dad was the pastor of a Southern Baptist church on O'ahu. The congregation was 95% military families. Prior to 09/11, it was very easy for a civilian to get on base (Hickam Air Force Base, Pearl Harbor Naval Base, Schofield Barracks, Tripler Army Medical Hospital, etc.). The military used their alphabetical codes to alert us to the threat level of the base. Most of the time prior to 09/11, the code was A for Alpha. Very easy for a civilian to get on base. Just tell the guards where you were going, and off you went. On 09/11, things changed. It was a shut down. The code went to D for Delta and stayed there for weeks. Every car was searched. Civilians were pretty much guaranteed not to be allowed on base. This really hindered my dad's ability to visit church members. After a few weeks (or maybe months?) the code became C for Charlie, and military personnel could meet a civilian at the guard shack to obtain a visitor pass to get on base. By the time I could drive, which was 2 years after 09/11, the code was B for Bravo. It still required me to pull over at the guard shack and wait for my military-family friends to come obtain a visitor pass for me, but at least we were able to get back on base.
In April 2002, my mom and I flew to Tampa Florida to meet up with my grandmother and a group in her community who were travelling to New York City for a broadway show trip. While we were in NYC, we stopped by Ground Zero. There was still so much debris.
In March of 2005, my older brother got an opportunity to play with our Hawaiian high school's wind ensemble at Carnegie Hall. He flew to NYC with the other members of the band, and my parents and younger brother and I followed a few days later to hear him play. My parents, younger brother and I stopped at a Burger King near Ground Zero and the upper level of Burger King had windows overlooking Ground Zero. Three and a half years after the attacks, and clean-up was still going on. My dad, younger brother, and some of our grandparents, went to see Ground Zero on that trip. I stayed behind with my mom and we just watched from the windows.
In 2006, I went to college and met a girl there who would soon become one of my very best friends. She was from New Jersey. I'll never forget the things she told me when we got on the topic of 09/11 one day. Her aunt worked in Manhattan and was running late and missed the bus to work-- at the World Trade Center. She decided since she was late, she might as well be later, and get a nice coffee at Starbucks. When she stepped out of Starbucks, she saw the smoke. Had she been on time, she would have been in the towers. She told my friend never to be angry if you're running late because there's a purpose for everything.
This friend was attending a New Jersey middle school on 09/11. She said that during the day, the teachers started closing the blinds in the classrooms. Then periodically, office staff would come get certain children out of their rooms. The student body later learned that the teachers closed the blinds in order for the children not to see the smoke on the skyline. The children who were pulled out of classes were children whose parents worked at the towers. My friend said she could smell the smoke as school got out that day.
The whole day is enveloped in tragedy.
I have heard great things, though, about the 09/11 Memorial Museum in Manhattan. I hope to be able to see it someday.
09/11 is a day I'll remember forever, as should we all.
Where were you on 09/11?
Linking up with Andrea today at Momfessionals.
Until Next Time,
Much Love, Reba
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Life Lately
I'm taking this brief moment to write a very short blog update.
Right now, Aaron is at Men's Bible Study and Michael is busy watching a show, and Noah is trying on Michael's shoes or showing me toys he has found.
I started working from home in mid-August. I thought at first that I would have time to blog during my lunch breaks, etc. But I was mistaken. Working from home takes extra effort in some ways. Right now, we're restricted on what we can actually work, so I'm fighting each day to find enough to do. Also, since I'm at home all of the time, I find that I really value my lunch times just to get away from computers for 30 minutes. I make myself lunch and watch "Four Weddings" and I always try to fold a load of laundry. During my morning and afternoon breaks, I try to unload and reload the dishwasher. Sometimes, I'll use the breaks to get things assembled for dinner (ie, if a crockpot recipe is on the menu, I'll throw everything in there during my morning break).
In the past two weeks, Michael has turned three and had two parties. We had one small family party at our house. Then yesterday, we had a bigger party at our church to include more family members and then some of my coworkers who have children Michael's age. I took pictures (of decorations) at each party and I will have a blog post about that soon.
Michael had a good birthday. I took the day off of work and it was SO NICE just to hang out with the boys all day long at home. We didn't go anywhere. We just enjoyed being home. Michael politely insisted he was still two all day long, but eventually he came to terms with being three.
This week is VERY busy. VERY.
Tomorrow, Michael has his three-year check up. It'll be nice to get updated stats on his weight and height, etc, for all of the family we'll see this upcoming weekend.
On Tuesday, I have my home visit where a manager from work will come to my home to make sure I have an office space set up that's not smack in front of a TV, etc.
On Wednesday, Michael has his first dentist appointment. The dentist told me that Michael will get to sit in the chair and they'll raise it up and lower it, and then they'll let him touch all of the dental instruments and maybe watch him brush his teeth-- maybe. Then that's it for 6 months. This is just a trip to get him used to going to the dentist.
On Thursday, Aaron picks up his tuxedo rental.
On Friday we'll head to the wedding site for rehearsal dinner. We'll get to see lots of out-of-town family and I'm really excited about that! We're really excited for Andrew and Becky and I think the wedding will be very sweet and charming.
So this week is just so packed and I'm hoping to get through everything with grace and a positive attitude.
Until Next Time,
Much love, Reba
Right now, Aaron is at Men's Bible Study and Michael is busy watching a show, and Noah is trying on Michael's shoes or showing me toys he has found.
I started working from home in mid-August. I thought at first that I would have time to blog during my lunch breaks, etc. But I was mistaken. Working from home takes extra effort in some ways. Right now, we're restricted on what we can actually work, so I'm fighting each day to find enough to do. Also, since I'm at home all of the time, I find that I really value my lunch times just to get away from computers for 30 minutes. I make myself lunch and watch "Four Weddings" and I always try to fold a load of laundry. During my morning and afternoon breaks, I try to unload and reload the dishwasher. Sometimes, I'll use the breaks to get things assembled for dinner (ie, if a crockpot recipe is on the menu, I'll throw everything in there during my morning break).
In the past two weeks, Michael has turned three and had two parties. We had one small family party at our house. Then yesterday, we had a bigger party at our church to include more family members and then some of my coworkers who have children Michael's age. I took pictures (of decorations) at each party and I will have a blog post about that soon.
Michael had a good birthday. I took the day off of work and it was SO NICE just to hang out with the boys all day long at home. We didn't go anywhere. We just enjoyed being home. Michael politely insisted he was still two all day long, but eventually he came to terms with being three.
This week is VERY busy. VERY.
Tomorrow, Michael has his three-year check up. It'll be nice to get updated stats on his weight and height, etc, for all of the family we'll see this upcoming weekend.
On Tuesday, I have my home visit where a manager from work will come to my home to make sure I have an office space set up that's not smack in front of a TV, etc.
On Wednesday, Michael has his first dentist appointment. The dentist told me that Michael will get to sit in the chair and they'll raise it up and lower it, and then they'll let him touch all of the dental instruments and maybe watch him brush his teeth-- maybe. Then that's it for 6 months. This is just a trip to get him used to going to the dentist.
On Thursday, Aaron picks up his tuxedo rental.
On Friday we'll head to the wedding site for rehearsal dinner. We'll get to see lots of out-of-town family and I'm really excited about that! We're really excited for Andrew and Becky and I think the wedding will be very sweet and charming.
So this week is just so packed and I'm hoping to get through everything with grace and a positive attitude.
Until Next Time,
Much love, Reba
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Recipe Club: Enchilada Casserole
Today I'm linking up with Andrea from Momfessionals to participate in the Recipe Club!
On the menu for tonight is a family favorite of mine while growing up: Enchilada Casserole! This was so tasty and something that I LOVED having for dinner. I made it lots of times in college and impressed all of my friends with a home-cooked meal. When I got married, it was one of the few things my husband and I could afford to make on our tiny newlywed budget, and we still eat it to this day! It's good; the leftovers are good-- can't ask for much more!
Ingredients for an 8x8 pan (double the ingredients for a 13x9 pan):
The melted cheese makes the top tortilla crispy and it's soooo good!
This is a recipe that can really be adapted to whatever tastes you prefer. You can spice it up with spicy enchilada sauce and beans. You can add a healthy element by choosing ground turkey and whole wheat tortillas and fat free refried beans. There's so many options that you can choose to adapt this to what your family likes!
Enjoy!
Linking up today with Andrea at Momfessionals for Recipe Club.
Until Next Time,
Much Love, Reba
On the menu for tonight is a family favorite of mine while growing up: Enchilada Casserole! This was so tasty and something that I LOVED having for dinner. I made it lots of times in college and impressed all of my friends with a home-cooked meal. When I got married, it was one of the few things my husband and I could afford to make on our tiny newlywed budget, and we still eat it to this day! It's good; the leftovers are good-- can't ask for much more!
Ingredients for an 8x8 pan (double the ingredients for a 13x9 pan):
- 1 pound of ground meat (I used turkey this time since it was on sale)
- 1 10 ounce can of red enchilada sauce
- 1 16 ounce can of refried beans
- Mexican blend shredded cheese (plain cheddar is delicious too)
- Flour tortillas (I use about 4 soft-taco sized ones for an 8x8 pan. I've used the burrito sized ones in a 13x9 pan and have used about 6-- tear them or cut them to fit the pan)
Directions:
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
- Brown the ground meat. I sprinkle in some paprika, garlic powder, salt & pepper. (Chili powder is also an excellent choice-- I happen to be out of this today)
- Spray non-stick cooking spray in an 8x8 pan
- Open the cans of enchilada sauce and refried beans
- Pour a small amount of enchilada sauce into the bottom of the 8x8 pan to coat it.
- Place a tortilla in the bottom of the pan.
- Spread some refried beans on the tortilla, then sprinkle some of the ground meat on the refried beans.
- Pour some enchilada sauce over the beans and meat.
- Place another tortilla on top of this and keep layering: refried beans, meat, enchilada sauce, tortilla, etc.
- I can get about 3 layers in an 8x8 pan.
- Place one final tortilla on top and sprinkle with shredded cheese.
- Bake for 30 minutes. Everything is already cooked-- so it's a matter of warming it all up.
The melted cheese makes the top tortilla crispy and it's soooo good!
This is a recipe that can really be adapted to whatever tastes you prefer. You can spice it up with spicy enchilada sauce and beans. You can add a healthy element by choosing ground turkey and whole wheat tortillas and fat free refried beans. There's so many options that you can choose to adapt this to what your family likes!
Enjoy!
Linking up today with Andrea at Momfessionals for Recipe Club.
Until Next Time,
Much Love, Reba
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
1 Year Diaversary
Dearest Michael,
One year ago today, you were diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. At the time, this was a devastating blow to us. We had no idea what to do. We hardly knew the first thing about diabetes alone-- not to mention the immense care that is required for Type 1 Diabetes.
We spent 3 days in Children's Hospital learning how to care for you. We learned how to count carbs and inject insulin. We learned how to check blood sugar and monitor activities and snacks. We made tough decisions as parents that week (like having the nurses give you two IV ports so that they wouldn't have to keep pricking your arm to get labwork done through the night). We learned what to do at 2:00am if your blood sugar was 68. We learned how to check for ketones by sticking cotton balls in your diaper. We functioned on little sleep and even fewer showers. We forgot to feed ourselves as we practiced and practiced the steps we'd need to master in order to be able to go home. We met your fantastic endocrinologist and had a glimmer of hope that things might actually be okay. We learned what DKA actually was and how close you were to dying. We learned that our touch and our arms could comfort you when everything around you was changing. We learned to lean more on each other and be each other's support system. We learned more of the value of family and how their presence can make the world of difference to us.
It took me three months to realize that I could look at you as my precious little boy again instead of a tiny human who was dying and who I had no idea how to help. Soon, diabetes became a part of our daily routine and it wasn't frightening all the time.
I had my share of tears, I'm sure we all did. Your daddy was such a rock to me. He's always been that way-- from the moment we brought you home as a newborn to the moment when we carried you out of Children's Hospital with a plastic container filled with ice and insulin.
We have learned to adapt to what life throws our way because it's a daily task now. Diabetes doesn't play by the rules, and it involves no rhyme or reason. Ratios and correction targets change from week to week. Eventually, I came to accept that this type of change is inevitable, and that I should never get to used to a meal-time ratio.
It was hard to let you be a toddler and to also have to control so much of what your world was about. Those first few sicknesses after diagnosis were heart-wrenching and very very hard. We learned to rely on God more than we ever have before and we came to realize very quickly that He loves you more than we can, and that Type 1 Diabetes was not a surprise to Him.
August 11, 2014 was the day your life was saved. It was the day when we were sent straight to a hospital emergency room and you were admitted to the hospital and started on an IV of insulin. We hardly slept that night as we held you and all of your cords and tubes. The movie "Planes" played over and over on the TV and I still have trouble watching it today because of the memories it brings back of being in that dark hospital room with a little boy and an uncertain future.
Through this year, we've made great strides. We attended an insulin pump introduction class to learn about pumps. You grew immune to finger sticks, and tolerated injections quite well. We got much better at eye-balling a plate of food and guessing the carb counts. We started paying more attention in our own diets and were floored when we learned how many carbs we had been eating that we shouldn't have. We struggled with A1Cs and ear infections. We battled through the holiday season filled with treats-- and we didn't shun you away from participating in events. We made a decision 10 months in to get you on an insulin pump. Yesterday, we had our final appointment to finish our "start-up" sessions of the pump. Not many people can say that they've been back at the exact hospital 364 days after diagnosis. We can. You've been on the Omnipod for two months now and you are thriving. We've seen more "normal range" blood sugars now than we ever have before.
We're doing it. We're bringing diabetes along for the ride. With each passing day, I believe we will notice it less as it becomes more woven into who you are-- and who we are. I'm very much a realist and I know that Type 1 Diabetes will not just go away, and that no amount of crying or begging on my part can turn back time and stop this from happening. Type 1 Diabetes is a part of who you are and I can never hate it, because I can never hate you. That "little" baby (I used little loosely since you weighed 8lbs 14oz at birth) who arrived at 4:32pm on August 28, 2012, and who made me a mommy, is the same "little" boy who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes just 17 days before his 2nd birthday. He's the same "little" boy who is about to be 3, who has now conquered that first year of Type 1 Diabetes, and who is acting just so incredibly normal. He's the same little boy whom I will always love no matter how challenging life gets.
Although being the parent of a Type 1 Diabetic is hard, it's kind of nice to know that when you throw your temper tantrums and have screaming fits-- your blood sugar is in normal range, and therefore, you're just being a normal nearly-three-old. I know that Type 1 Diabetes will always be harder for you than it is for me, and please believe me that I would take it from you in a heartbeat if I could.
I pray every night for your healing. I know that God can do mighty things and I pray that He chooses to allow a cure to be found.
I love you, dear Michael. Through the good and the bad, through the highs and the lows.
Today, we celebrate. We celebrate the life that you are still living. We have reached our first "diaversary." We got take-out chicken for supper and had a "picnic" on the living room floor as we watched "Cars 2: World Grand Prix." It was the perfect way to celebrate the accomplishments of a little nearly-3-year old boy who has endured so much over the past year.
Always know that we love you deeply. We are so very proud of you.
Love always,
Mommy
PS: To read about diagnosis, click here.
One year ago today, you were diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. At the time, this was a devastating blow to us. We had no idea what to do. We hardly knew the first thing about diabetes alone-- not to mention the immense care that is required for Type 1 Diabetes.
We spent 3 days in Children's Hospital learning how to care for you. We learned how to count carbs and inject insulin. We learned how to check blood sugar and monitor activities and snacks. We made tough decisions as parents that week (like having the nurses give you two IV ports so that they wouldn't have to keep pricking your arm to get labwork done through the night). We learned what to do at 2:00am if your blood sugar was 68. We learned how to check for ketones by sticking cotton balls in your diaper. We functioned on little sleep and even fewer showers. We forgot to feed ourselves as we practiced and practiced the steps we'd need to master in order to be able to go home. We met your fantastic endocrinologist and had a glimmer of hope that things might actually be okay. We learned what DKA actually was and how close you were to dying. We learned that our touch and our arms could comfort you when everything around you was changing. We learned to lean more on each other and be each other's support system. We learned more of the value of family and how their presence can make the world of difference to us.
It took me three months to realize that I could look at you as my precious little boy again instead of a tiny human who was dying and who I had no idea how to help. Soon, diabetes became a part of our daily routine and it wasn't frightening all the time.
I had my share of tears, I'm sure we all did. Your daddy was such a rock to me. He's always been that way-- from the moment we brought you home as a newborn to the moment when we carried you out of Children's Hospital with a plastic container filled with ice and insulin.
We have learned to adapt to what life throws our way because it's a daily task now. Diabetes doesn't play by the rules, and it involves no rhyme or reason. Ratios and correction targets change from week to week. Eventually, I came to accept that this type of change is inevitable, and that I should never get to used to a meal-time ratio.
It was hard to let you be a toddler and to also have to control so much of what your world was about. Those first few sicknesses after diagnosis were heart-wrenching and very very hard. We learned to rely on God more than we ever have before and we came to realize very quickly that He loves you more than we can, and that Type 1 Diabetes was not a surprise to Him.
August 11, 2014 was the day your life was saved. It was the day when we were sent straight to a hospital emergency room and you were admitted to the hospital and started on an IV of insulin. We hardly slept that night as we held you and all of your cords and tubes. The movie "Planes" played over and over on the TV and I still have trouble watching it today because of the memories it brings back of being in that dark hospital room with a little boy and an uncertain future.
Through this year, we've made great strides. We attended an insulin pump introduction class to learn about pumps. You grew immune to finger sticks, and tolerated injections quite well. We got much better at eye-balling a plate of food and guessing the carb counts. We started paying more attention in our own diets and were floored when we learned how many carbs we had been eating that we shouldn't have. We struggled with A1Cs and ear infections. We battled through the holiday season filled with treats-- and we didn't shun you away from participating in events. We made a decision 10 months in to get you on an insulin pump. Yesterday, we had our final appointment to finish our "start-up" sessions of the pump. Not many people can say that they've been back at the exact hospital 364 days after diagnosis. We can. You've been on the Omnipod for two months now and you are thriving. We've seen more "normal range" blood sugars now than we ever have before.
We're doing it. We're bringing diabetes along for the ride. With each passing day, I believe we will notice it less as it becomes more woven into who you are-- and who we are. I'm very much a realist and I know that Type 1 Diabetes will not just go away, and that no amount of crying or begging on my part can turn back time and stop this from happening. Type 1 Diabetes is a part of who you are and I can never hate it, because I can never hate you. That "little" baby (I used little loosely since you weighed 8lbs 14oz at birth) who arrived at 4:32pm on August 28, 2012, and who made me a mommy, is the same "little" boy who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes just 17 days before his 2nd birthday. He's the same "little" boy who is about to be 3, who has now conquered that first year of Type 1 Diabetes, and who is acting just so incredibly normal. He's the same little boy whom I will always love no matter how challenging life gets.
Although being the parent of a Type 1 Diabetic is hard, it's kind of nice to know that when you throw your temper tantrums and have screaming fits-- your blood sugar is in normal range, and therefore, you're just being a normal nearly-three-old. I know that Type 1 Diabetes will always be harder for you than it is for me, and please believe me that I would take it from you in a heartbeat if I could.
I pray every night for your healing. I know that God can do mighty things and I pray that He chooses to allow a cure to be found.
I love you, dear Michael. Through the good and the bad, through the highs and the lows.
Today, we celebrate. We celebrate the life that you are still living. We have reached our first "diaversary." We got take-out chicken for supper and had a "picnic" on the living room floor as we watched "Cars 2: World Grand Prix." It was the perfect way to celebrate the accomplishments of a little nearly-3-year old boy who has endured so much over the past year.
Always know that we love you deeply. We are so very proud of you.
Love always,
Mommy
PS: To read about diagnosis, click here.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Being a Parent of Someone with Type 1
Today is going to be a random assortment of thoughts and feelings about Type One. I'll include some memes that accurately depict what I feel as a parent of a child with Type One, and some memes will show how Michael probably feels as someone living with Type One.
I've also included a video clip from Ed Damiano. He talks about the Bionic Pancreas. Ed's son has Type One and Ed is designing the Bionic Pancreas in order to have it marketable before his son goes to college in two years. Ed very very accurately describes what it's like to be a parent of someone with Type One. Please watch. This video is educational and very honest.
Also, this week, I had a cry-day. As I mentioned in this post, I don't have these days very often anymore. So, of course, on the day following that post, I had a day where I just felt defeated.
On my desktop at work, I have this picture as my screen-saver:
Sometimes, I catch myself looking at Michael's sweet nearly-three-year-old face and I just break down and cry. I don't know why Michael was chosen to have Type One. I ache that I cannot take this from him. But as much as I'm hurt and wondering why Michael has this illness, I do know that it wasn't a surprise to God. He knew Michael's pancreas would fail and that Michael would need medical attention to survive every day. I firmly believe that God has a plan for both of my children. And as long as I'm here on this earth and get to be their mom, I will do my best to continually point them to Him. For I know, without Him, I would fail. And Type One isn't something I can handle alone.
I shared my thoughts with a dear friend of mine, and she responded in a beautiful way. I wrote down part of what she said and I keep it at my desk as a reminder.
And now for the memes! Just remember, please read this in a light-hearted way. I have a full Pinterest board dedicated to Type One Diabetes. On that board are both humorous as well as serious pins about Type One. I've chosen to share some of the more light-hearted ones here. Sometimes, we must find even the slightest bit of humor in life in order to keep from constantly crying.
Memes for what I feel as a parent to someone with Type One:
Memes for what Michael might feel as someone living with Type One:
Until Next Time,
Much love,
Reba
I've also included a video clip from Ed Damiano. He talks about the Bionic Pancreas. Ed's son has Type One and Ed is designing the Bionic Pancreas in order to have it marketable before his son goes to college in two years. Ed very very accurately describes what it's like to be a parent of someone with Type One. Please watch. This video is educational and very honest.
Also, this week, I had a cry-day. As I mentioned in this post, I don't have these days very often anymore. So, of course, on the day following that post, I had a day where I just felt defeated.
On my desktop at work, I have this picture as my screen-saver:
Sometimes, I catch myself looking at Michael's sweet nearly-three-year-old face and I just break down and cry. I don't know why Michael was chosen to have Type One. I ache that I cannot take this from him. But as much as I'm hurt and wondering why Michael has this illness, I do know that it wasn't a surprise to God. He knew Michael's pancreas would fail and that Michael would need medical attention to survive every day. I firmly believe that God has a plan for both of my children. And as long as I'm here on this earth and get to be their mom, I will do my best to continually point them to Him. For I know, without Him, I would fail. And Type One isn't something I can handle alone.
I shared my thoughts with a dear friend of mine, and she responded in a beautiful way. I wrote down part of what she said and I keep it at my desk as a reminder.
"We don't know God's plan. Maybe He brought this horrible thing into your life
for a grater purpose. Maybe He's showing the devil
that you will still have faith & follow like Job.
And yet, sometimes we still feel like we are alone.
Partially because no other human we know
is going through the exact same thing at the same time we are.
But I would rather have God as my company and support
than any human."
And now for the memes! Just remember, please read this in a light-hearted way. I have a full Pinterest board dedicated to Type One Diabetes. On that board are both humorous as well as serious pins about Type One. I've chosen to share some of the more light-hearted ones here. Sometimes, we must find even the slightest bit of humor in life in order to keep from constantly crying.
Memes for what I feel as a parent to someone with Type One:
Memes for what Michael might feel as someone living with Type One:
Until Next Time,
Much love,
Reba
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
What's Up Wednesdays
Today I'm trying something new! I'm linking up with Shay at "Mix and Match Family" for What's Up Wednesdays!
Today I'll be answering these questions:
Let's get to it.
What We're Eating This Week:
Julia Child's Eggplant Pizzas. These are so good! They're even good heated up for lunch the next day.
This week, we've also made Mushroom Sausage Kale Pasta from Mix and Match Mama, and Creamy White Chicken Artichoke Lasagna from One Good Thing by Jillee. Both of these recipes were SO GOOD! I'm sorry I don't have any pictures. But I can tell you, it's a good feeling to sit down to supper and feed your husband a meal that makes him speechless because it's so good!
What I'm Reminiscing About:
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about August 11, 2014-- the day my oldest son was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes, just 17 days prior to his 2nd birthday. (Read the full story here). We're quickly approaching our first "diaversary" in just a couple weeks. On August 11, 2014, it seemed like there would never be another day besides that one. Time seemed to go in slow motion all day long. Type 1 Diabetes used to make me cry all the time. And although I definitely still get teary, I don't have nearly as many days when I full-out cry because of it. Every night, I pray for the healing of my son, and I pray that my youngest son doesn't get Type 1. And I'm finding that I'm able to give my fears to God. As a mom, it's so odd to think that God loves our own children more than we can. But it's true. God has a plan for my sons. He knows Michael's needs. God created Michael's body and He knew that Michael's pancreas would fail and he would have to have medical attention in order to survive each day. Type 1 Diabetes has taught me to completely rely on Him. To trust Him. To take my fears to Him. To believe that He has a plan. So, these days as we approach the first year anniversary of my son's diagnosis, I will choose to be joyful. I will choose to acknowledge the sovereignty of God and the fact that my son is still here. I will choose to look at August 11, 2014 as the day my son's life was saved.
What I'm Loving:
Time with these kiddos:
I mean really?!?! They're just the cutest. And I'm blessed beyond measure to be their mom.
I'm also loving this new table runner that my Nana made for me!
Perfect for fall and has just a hint of sparkle! Just my taste!
What We've Been Up To:
Cleaning. Our house is on the market right now, so I'm trying my absolute hardest to keep it in "show order" at all times. Not easy with a nearly three-year old and an 18-month-old running around. And two dogs-- one of whom has recently shown her destructive side. So, each day I do a couple loads of laundry, at least one dishwasher run-through, and a quick pick-up of the living room. Here are my current feelings on cleaning:
What I'm dreading:
In September, we'll take our first "true" family trip. My brother-in-law is getting married in south Georgia and Aaron is going to be the best man and Michael is going to be the ring bearer. Noah and I will happily sit on the front row. :) Although I'm super excited to see lots and lots of family from out of state, and I'm eagerly anticipating our first time staying in a hotel suite, I'm equally as nervous to make sure I pack all the things we'll need to adequately care for Michael's diabetes while we're there.
We won't be in the jungle or anything, and there's always a pharmacy nearby. It's just my jitters for trying something new and branching out-- just bringing diabetes along for the ride.
What I'm Working On:
I'm working on just letting things go. I'm trying to not be such a dweller. I re-hash things in my mind over and over and that's not healthy. I can't change the past, so I really shouldn't spend my time worrying about it. One of my favorite Bible verses is Exodus 14:14 which says "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (NIV) That's so comforting to me. My goal is to let things go and trust that God will take care of me.
What I'm excited about:
Working from home!!!! I'll get to start working from home in two weeks and I'm so so excited!
I'm very self-motivated and able to stay on task. I'm also somewhat of an introvert-- so working from home is a perfect scenario for me. Right now, I leave for work before my boys wake up (or right as they're waking up), and I am really looking forward to being around them each morning! My mother-in-law will still come pick them up in the morning and take them to her house or on fun little trips while I work. But it'll be nice for her not to have to come over so early! I'm really looking forward to this new working arrangement!
What I'm Watching/Reading:
Reading:
Watching:
My husband and I watch a hodge-podge of shows. We don't watch any prime-time mainstream TV. We just can't get hooked. Instead we watch really light TV shows like "Leepu & Pitbull," "Counting Cars," "Chopped," and "Cutthroat Kitchen." We also catch up on "Wahlburgers" and "Duck Dynasty." In the Spring, we watch "Vikings" and "Swamp People" too.
What I'm listening to:
A bunch of Hillsong United. Currently, my favorites are "Scandal of Grace," "A Million Suns," and "Touch the Sky." I throw in some PureNRG "Here We Go Again" periodically.
What I'm Wearing:
I don't have any recent wardrobe changes, but I did just buy a couple new shades of nail polish. I am loving Sinful Colors brand nail polish in the shade of "Easy Going."
Today I'll be answering these questions:
Let's get to it.
What We're Eating This Week:
This week, we've also made Mushroom Sausage Kale Pasta from Mix and Match Mama, and Creamy White Chicken Artichoke Lasagna from One Good Thing by Jillee. Both of these recipes were SO GOOD! I'm sorry I don't have any pictures. But I can tell you, it's a good feeling to sit down to supper and feed your husband a meal that makes him speechless because it's so good!
What I'm Reminiscing About:
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about August 11, 2014-- the day my oldest son was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes, just 17 days prior to his 2nd birthday. (Read the full story here). We're quickly approaching our first "diaversary" in just a couple weeks. On August 11, 2014, it seemed like there would never be another day besides that one. Time seemed to go in slow motion all day long. Type 1 Diabetes used to make me cry all the time. And although I definitely still get teary, I don't have nearly as many days when I full-out cry because of it. Every night, I pray for the healing of my son, and I pray that my youngest son doesn't get Type 1. And I'm finding that I'm able to give my fears to God. As a mom, it's so odd to think that God loves our own children more than we can. But it's true. God has a plan for my sons. He knows Michael's needs. God created Michael's body and He knew that Michael's pancreas would fail and he would have to have medical attention in order to survive each day. Type 1 Diabetes has taught me to completely rely on Him. To trust Him. To take my fears to Him. To believe that He has a plan. So, these days as we approach the first year anniversary of my son's diagnosis, I will choose to be joyful. I will choose to acknowledge the sovereignty of God and the fact that my son is still here. I will choose to look at August 11, 2014 as the day my son's life was saved.
What I'm Loving:
Time with these kiddos:
I mean really?!?! They're just the cutest. And I'm blessed beyond measure to be their mom.
I'm also loving this new table runner that my Nana made for me!
Perfect for fall and has just a hint of sparkle! Just my taste!
What We've Been Up To:
Cleaning. Our house is on the market right now, so I'm trying my absolute hardest to keep it in "show order" at all times. Not easy with a nearly three-year old and an 18-month-old running around. And two dogs-- one of whom has recently shown her destructive side. So, each day I do a couple loads of laundry, at least one dishwasher run-through, and a quick pick-up of the living room. Here are my current feelings on cleaning:
What I'm dreading:
In September, we'll take our first "true" family trip. My brother-in-law is getting married in south Georgia and Aaron is going to be the best man and Michael is going to be the ring bearer. Noah and I will happily sit on the front row. :) Although I'm super excited to see lots and lots of family from out of state, and I'm eagerly anticipating our first time staying in a hotel suite, I'm equally as nervous to make sure I pack all the things we'll need to adequately care for Michael's diabetes while we're there.
We won't be in the jungle or anything, and there's always a pharmacy nearby. It's just my jitters for trying something new and branching out-- just bringing diabetes along for the ride.
What I'm Working On:
I'm working on just letting things go. I'm trying to not be such a dweller. I re-hash things in my mind over and over and that's not healthy. I can't change the past, so I really shouldn't spend my time worrying about it. One of my favorite Bible verses is Exodus 14:14 which says "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (NIV) That's so comforting to me. My goal is to let things go and trust that God will take care of me.
What I'm excited about:
Working from home!!!! I'll get to start working from home in two weeks and I'm so so excited!
I'm very self-motivated and able to stay on task. I'm also somewhat of an introvert-- so working from home is a perfect scenario for me. Right now, I leave for work before my boys wake up (or right as they're waking up), and I am really looking forward to being around them each morning! My mother-in-law will still come pick them up in the morning and take them to her house or on fun little trips while I work. But it'll be nice for her not to have to come over so early! I'm really looking forward to this new working arrangement!
What I'm Watching/Reading:
Reading:
I read His Princess after I finish reading my Bible during my nightly Quiet Time. This book is really great and offers short reminders that God deeply cares for us. I read Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle when I have extra minutes here and there. It's really an amazing book about proper nutrition and the need for different types of workouts (cardio and strength-training). Aaron and I are almost done with our second run-through of P90X3, and this book helps keep me motivated to reach my goals!
Watching:
My husband and I watch a hodge-podge of shows. We don't watch any prime-time mainstream TV. We just can't get hooked. Instead we watch really light TV shows like "Leepu & Pitbull," "Counting Cars," "Chopped," and "Cutthroat Kitchen." We also catch up on "Wahlburgers" and "Duck Dynasty." In the Spring, we watch "Vikings" and "Swamp People" too.
What I'm listening to:
A bunch of Hillsong United. Currently, my favorites are "Scandal of Grace," "A Million Suns," and "Touch the Sky." I throw in some PureNRG "Here We Go Again" periodically.
What I'm Wearing:
I don't have any recent wardrobe changes, but I did just buy a couple new shades of nail polish. I am loving Sinful Colors brand nail polish in the shade of "Easy Going."
What I'm Doing this Weekend:
Shopping at Costco and Hobby Lobby. We don't have a super huge Costco list, but it's fun to take the boys and peruse the aisles. And I know I'll be making a trip to Hobby Lobby to get ready for Michael's birthday party (Bob the Builder Theme!), and to get ready for a Women's Event for our church that I'm hosting (we'll be making homemade candles!)
What I'm Looking Forward to Next Month:
Michael's third birthday party! He has gone back and forth between a Bob the Builder party or a Spider-man party, and eventually he made up his mind and chose a Bob the Builder Construction themed party. I am so so excited for this! It's a theme I was hoping he'd choose because I've had a whole Pinterest board filled with ideas! I am so excited to execute some of those ideas and really make it a special day for him.
What Else is New?
The Upwards Flag Football/Cheerleading season is right around the corner and I'm going to volunteer to be a Cheer Coach! My mom and mother-in-law have done it for the past two years and it's time for me to step up and take the reigns. So I'm excited to try something new!
What about you? What's up on your Wednesday?
Until Next Time,
Much love, Reba
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