One day, they say, we will see a cure for Type One Diabetes. One day.
People who have lived with this disease for years look at my son, or pictures of him, and they say "Maybe not in my lifetime, but surely in his."
And I wonder, what will it look like?
What will he have to undertake in order to be cured?
Will it be a surgery to implant encapsulated beta cells that are protected from the attacks of the immune system? How long will it take those cells to start making insulin? Will his liver properly deliver glucagon again if the insulin-producing cells actually function and insert insulin into his body? Or will he have devastating lows as we manually have to make sure he doesn't slip into a coma or pass away in the night from a low blood sugar? Will the fears of low blood sugar subside if insulin-producing encapsulated beta cells come to fruition?
Will it be a pill that he takes everyday? What happens if he misses a day by accident (which is prone to happen to all of us. I myself miss a day of Synthroid now and then, purely by accident). Will his blood sugars sky-rocket during a missed dose? Will he feel like he has the flu with no fever if his blood sugars soar because he missed taking a pill? If he takes the pill a few hours late, will it mess up the next day's blood sugars by causing them to drop unexpectedly?
Will the only "cure" he sees be the Bionic Pancreas which he must attach to his body just like he already attaches his pump and CGM? Will his skin continue to be scarred by cannulas and wires that inject into his tissue? Does the Bionic Pancreas eliminate the need for finger pricks? Or will his calloused fingers continue to show the silent black markings of dried blood beneath their skin?
What will this cure look like?
Will it be available to all people living with Type One? Even those in developing countries who cannot afford the basic necessities that this disease requires for survival?
Will we have to be on a waiting list? Will we have to stand in line? Will we have to sign waivers saying we understand if it doesn't work and that we're not looking to sue anybody?
I didn't have to sign a waiver in the hospital saying I understood that this disease will become a part of my family and will haunt me at night worse than any nightmare that could be dreamed up on the big screen. I didn't sign a waiver that said I understood if my child doesn't wake up in the morning. I didn't sign a waiver saying I understood that my insurance coverage was superb and would cover 70% of the cost of a Continuous Glucose Monitor-- the life-saving device alerting my husband and me to the deadly lows and raging highs of our son's blood sugars. I didn't sign a waiver saying I understood that other parents don't have the luxury of letting their child wear a CGM-- that their insurance doesn't cover it and their jobs don't afford them enough money to buy one themselves. I didn't sign a waiver saying that the last good night of sleep I'd ever have would be roughly two weeks before my son was diagnosed-- before he starting crying out in the night because his sheets were soaked in urine from nearly fatal high blood sugars. I didn't sign a waiver saying my kid would look longingly at snack-packs of mini muffins that his daycare buddies ate while he had to eat a yogurt. I didn't sign up for this!
But here we are.
And we're praying hard for a cure.
the heart of this mom right here-- this 27 year old woman who has a 3 year old with Type One Diabetes--
I am praying for trust.
Please grant me the ability to trust You in all circumstances. Lord, I know You love my son more than I can. Please keep him safe. I know You have a plan for him. Please let me trust.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. It will be 17 days until my youngest son's second birthday. My oldest son was diagnosed 17 days prior to his 2nd birthday. You best believe I will be in constant prayer over my children. I never want to experience the horror of a Type One Diabetes diagnosis again.
Lord, let there be a cure.
But most of all, please let me trust.
Until Next Time,
Much love, Reba