Hitting My Stride

It's taken me many years to get here and I know that I'm not finished yet.  By that I mean that it's taken me quite a while to fully understand myself and know what things I'm comfortable doing and what things I can pass on and learn to be okay with.  I don't have to do all things and participate in all things in order to be my best self.  Some things are worth passing on and other things are worth pursuing and I'm finally reaching the point where I am understanding which side of the line I fall on when it comes to certain things. Some of these things are miniscule and superficial.  Other things are more important and visible. 

Superficially, let's take shoes for instance.  I like the idea of pointy toe shoes and wedge booties. However, I have really come to understand myself enough to know that these shoe types don't work with me, and if they don't work with me then they work against me and I don't have time for that.  For example, I LOVE the look of these booties.  But I know that I will perpetually struggle to find the right outfit to wear them with which means they'll sit in my closet unworn for years until I'm ready to part with them.  

I also like the idea of the hidden wedge bootie, but a 4" heel is really just too much for me, and now I know this and can live with the fact that I wouldn't feel comfortable enough to wear these outside the house. 

I am much more comfortable in flats and will happily wear a pair of flats or pretty flip flops every single day since I know that it's right up my alley and fits my personal style. 

Moving on to clothes. 

I also love the idea of a flippy skirt, but I know that I'd never actually wear it because I'd struggle to find the right top and would feel like I exhausted the outfit after one wear.  How often can you wear a patterned flippy skirt before it becomes too noticeable?  Once a week?  Twice a month?  See??? This struggle of trying to figure out when to wear an outfit bears a load of stress I don't want to hang onto. 

Also... rompers and jumpsuits. I love the look of them, but as someone with a long torso, there's no guaranteeing that the midsection of the outfit would be long enough.  This renders them too much of a risk to pursue.   

These are just random items that came to mind.  These are things I would've bought in the past and then kicked myself for because I would find that I never felt comfortable enough to wear them.  I don't think this comes from insecurity; I think it comes from knowing more about my personal style. 

I have honed my personal decor style over time as well, and when I make a purchase that falls into this style, I don't feel bothered by it at all.  Rather I feel excited and at peace.  That's how I felt when I bought this comforter set yesterday.  Number one, it was half off so there's something to be said about jumping on a sale when I see it.  Number two, it fit in perfectly with an aesthetic I've been dreaming of for a guest room.  In our beach cottage that was destroyed by Hurricane Michael, we had a bedroom called the Dot Room.  This room used to have curtains that had dots all over them, and a fun brightly colored bedframe and blanket.  It's my dream to create a guest room in a future beach house that pays homage to the Dot Room.  When I saw this comforter set while browsing Target yesterday, I jumped at the chance to kick start the design aesthetic of this room by grabbing this blanket set and holding onto it until time to use.  

I also have learned more about who I am over the 2020 year.  I gave up social media in the summertime.  I haven't been on Instagram since June and I haven't logged onto Facebook since late summer or early fall (I can't remember exactly when I stopped logging in but it's been months and months).  Giving up social media and the strain that it caused was SO FREEING.  It's pretty common sense to think that my opinion isn't necessarily going to be the magical sway that someone else needs in order to change their own opinion.  Reading someone differing opinion doesn't make me change my opinion to fall in line with theirs.  Therefore, spending time reading through emotionally hazardous posts does nothing except rob my time and my well-being.  Sure there are bright spots of social media like keeping up with family members and offering words of encouragement (and receiving words of encouragement).  However, there are other avenues to pursue those bright spots and it doesn't have to be focused around mainstream media. 

A long time ago, I gave up trying to fit inside the typical mold of what a person of a certain age should watch on TV etc.  So many of the coworkers and peers around me were entranced in prime time TV and I felt like I needed to watch the shows too but eventually decided that keeping up with so many shows on such a strict schedule and filling my mind with the non-peaceful storylines was becoming too much.  Getting rid of cable helped with this.  But even after that, I had to make myself filter the shows I'd watch on streaming services because so many of them are filled with story lines of chaos and deceit and ill gotten gain and terror. It's not worth it to spend my time on those things.  Instead, I choose to watch shows that I know will end well. This means watching a lot of the same shows over and over and honestly, I really don't mind doing that.   

I've also honed my parenting style (for this current season that I'm in).  When I feel peace about something, I know it.  When I feel like I'm pressuring myself to do exactly what other parents of similarly aged children are doing, I know to resist the urge to "keep up with the Joneses" and return to my own parenting style.  This helps tremendously with keeping a clear mind and being able to see directly in front of me instead of veering off my path by trying to look all around me at what others are doing.  

I know I still have a long way to go and the truth is, there's probably no real end to learning about oneself.  However, I am amazed at how much better I feel as a person when I follow the path that I feel God has put me on, and when I stick to what I know rather than trying to buy & become someone I'm not. 

This was a very random post, but I guess it was what my heart needed to write. 

Until Next Time, 

Much Love, Reba