My entrance into motherhood was fairly simple. I was pre-warned about the different shape my body would take on post-partum. Although I was still somewhat surprised at seeing that shape, at least I knew it was coming. I also had zero trouble breast-feeding Michael. I only began to run low on supply when I found out I was pregnant with Noah. Michael made it nearly 8 whole months on breast-milk, and another month from what I had stored in the freezer. Breastfeeding Michael, and then getting pregnant while breastfeeding made for a VERY easy transition back into my normal size and even smaller.
Breastfeeding with Noah was not so easy. Although I did not gain as much weight during that pregnancy, I had a harder time getting it off. In fact, I still have not returned to my pre-pregnancy weight. Noah is nearly two and a half years old. With Noah, we had our difficulties in breastfeeding. He was allergic to dairy products—meaning that I had to cut back on my dairy intake in order to make the breastmilk easier for him to digest. This helped, but it did not solve the problem. Noah still had issues with the breastmilk and this lead to us fully switching him to formula by the time he was six months old.
I also made such a crucial mistake while breastfeeding Noah. We had just listed our house for sale (for the first time), and we moved in with my mother-in-law and step father-in-law. That meant “my house” was a bedroom, and I did not have the freedom to just breastfeed Noah whenever the need struck him. Breastfeeding him was more of a planned event. I had to get back to my room or to his room, and get all set up before proceeding to feed him. This hindered my ease of just being able to supply him with food when needed. I felt embarrassed to breastfeed in someone else’s home, and that dwindled my supply greatly.
If I could do it over—or if I ever happen to get pregnant again—I will breastfeed in the comfort of my own home no matter what. I will not put myself in a position to be embarrassed or unable to breastfeed when the need arises. I will make sure I’m in my comfort zone and have all my supplies ready to go whenever that baby needs milk.
Not being able to breastfeed Noah for very long definitely hindered my ability to get back down to my normal size. We eventually moved back into our house and then pulled it off the market (miraculously two days prior to Michael’s Type One Diabetes diagnosis). If I had been in my house the whole time, I might have been able to continue breast-feeding and been able to completely cut out dairy or totally change my diet in order to have Noah be able to digest the breastmilk properly.
I did the P90X3 workouts nearly to completion (just one week from finishing) when Michael was diagnosed with Type One. A medical diagnosis of any kind for your child completely rocks your world and throws you to the ground. And while your world and your head are spinning, you don’t have the energy for exercise. You barely have the energy to prepare healthy meals for your child who needs them, and you have no energy left over for healthy meals for yourself. I think Aaron and I both gained weight after Michael’s diagnosis. And, of course, the added stress in our lives due to that diagnosis didn’t help us with this at all.
In Spring of 2015—right before we chose to list our house for sale again—I was shopping with my mom at a consignment sale and I reached down to help her lift up a larger toy item. A volunteer at the sale said “uh uh uh.” I assumed she thought I was trying to take the item away from my mom, and didn’t know that we were shopping together. I said “It’s ok. She’s my mom. I’m just carrying this for her.” The volunteer then said “Not with that belly.” She thought I was pregnant. Oh, so embarrassing. (What’s more embarrassing was that she was the third person that month who said something about being pregnant to me.) My mom—who is a gem—stood with me in our recognized silence. I tried to shake it off. We made small talk and acted like we didn’t hear anything that the volunteer had said. After dropping off my mom at her car, I cried the whole way to my house. I texted her later that night to thank her for not saying anything. She said it took everything she had to not say anything to that person, and more importantly, to not kick that person. J
I broke down to Aaron and told him how disappointed I was in myself. We started P90X3 again the following day. I added in T25 and eventually PIYO that my mother-in-law let me borrow.
Once we received an offer on our house, our diligence in working out slipped away. We were feverishly packing and getting our ducks in a row to move. When we moved into our new house, we were on the fast train to unpack and really create a home. We were occupied with getting things done and getting settled. The whole moving process meant lots of unhealthy food choices. I used to trick myself into thinking that “just one won’t hurt and it won’t make a difference.” Except, it does hurt and it did make a difference. I started noticing that my clothes were getting tighter. I had to go up a pants size. I don’t own a scale—so I gauge my weight based on how my clothes feel, and how I look in the mirror pre or post shower.
I was so mad at myself. I was worried I had dug a hole for myself that I might not be able to climb out of if I kept digging. I made a decision to really get serious and buckle down on working out. It’s something I chose to do for myself. To be a better woman, wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend. I needed to carve out time and be serious. I asked for two work-out DVD sets (1, 2) for my birthday. Aaron got me a set that I had not heard of before, but that was specifically designed for women. My mother-in-law got me the other two sets (1, 2) that were designed by moms for moms who carry around a little extra pooch on their middle—due to child-bearing. I am currently working on the women’sat-home-fitness DVD set and the first set from the DVDs my mother-in-law gave me. The first set is 30-Day Core set, and the second set is a more intense fitness program where they recommend that you work out consistently for two-months prior to starting that program. So, I’ll do as they ask.
So, I’m doing XTF MAX 90-Day Program, and Mom’s Into Fitness30-Day Core Program. I’ll do the PrettyFierce Lean Out 60-Day Program when I’m done with the first two programs. I have my workout charts hanging up in my closet by my clothes. I also have a picture of me in my workout gear to be my motivation. It’s my “before” picture, and I want it to be the biggest I ever am. I’m hoping for big changes for my “after” pictures. I plan to take an “after” picture when I’m done with the 30-Day Core set (I have two more weeks). I also plan to take an “after” picture when I’m done with the 90-Day set (I have 10 more weeks—in a 13 week program).
I’ve changed my eating habits and I’m very aware of what I intake now. I’m actually feeling my best on the inside. But I’m super struggling on the outside. I don’t feel like I see a change yet, and I know it hasn’t really been that long, but I was at least hoping that some of my clothes would feel looser by now. I’m not giving up, though.
And I do allow “cheat moments.” I’m not ready to give myself a “cheat day” yet, but a “cheat moment” I can handle. I attended a photography workshop on Sunday the 15th (that’s a post in and of itself) and they had some mini bundt cakes and some fresh fruit. I took a small serving of fruit and only one cake. Out of four different kinds, I would have loved to try them all, but I refrained. And my mom and I snacked on Skinny Pop popcorn and Diet Snapple on the way home (a nearly 4 hour one-way drive) instead of indulging in fast food. It’s choices like that that make me stand a little taller and reaffirm to myself that I CAN do this.
I’m also reading Kate Hudson’s book “Pretty Happy.” In this book, it even talks about not chastising yourself when you have a day that’s not as healthy as other days. The books instructs to take a step back and evaluate how you felt after that poor choice in food or the choice not to do physical activity. Then it says “do better tomorrow.” Don’t just wallow in pity if you mess up one day. So, I’m not. I’m not going to wallow. I allow myself a cheat here and there (like 1 mini bundt cake or some cookie dough if I’m baking cookies for an event) but I do not allow myself a whole day, and I don’t beat myself up for enjoying a tasty treat at a fun event.
I’m also part-way through a 24-Day Challenge of AdvoCare. This is my first time using these products. I saw my older brother undergo a huge transformation in his appearance from using these products. Since he is now a distributor, I’ve asked him to help me out. He was able to provide a list of the best flavors of drink mixes and aided me in selecting what type of supplement to pick for the second half of the phase. I’m really enjoying taking these products and knowing that I’m doing something healthy for myself. I’m on Day 11 of the 24-Day Challenge and I’m feeling a difference on the inside already. My brother explained that these products will help me lose weight, but they will not make me lose weight. He said if I don’t exercise and eat right, then these products won’t do me any good. That’s enough motivation for me! I don’t want to spend money on something that doesn’t end up working because I made poor exercise and food choices. I’ll be sure to exercise and eat right so I can get the maximum results out of this aid.
This journey to getting fit is exactly that—it’s a journey. It’ll take time. My goal is to keep going. Keep working at it. Do not skip a day of working out, or if a day is skipped, then make it up the next day in addition to the other work-outs on the schedule. I know results will come. Results will come whether I sit on my hiney or whether I get serious and stay focused on what I want my end goal to be. If I sit on my hiney the whole time, the result will be a bigger, more pudgy body that can’t squeeze into clothes correctly. If I stick to my new routine of working out and eating right, the result will be a more toned and trim body that easily fits into clothes. My goal isn’t to go down in clothing size, and it’s not to weigh a specified amount. My goal is to feel good on the outside and on the inside. I know that muscle weighs more than fat, so if I’m a smaller person with more muscle tone, I might actually weigh more than if I was a bit bigger with pudgy areas. So I’m going for the tone body. I want to feel good.
I’ll include some pictures of my lunches and snacks that I’ve found filling and healthy.
Until Next Time,Much love, Reba