The Cattiness of Social Media

Note: This is my blog and all opinions are my own.

I don’t have very many followers, and that’s okay.  Actually, for a long time, I inadvertently set my blog to be so private that I could not be found. I’m very picky about Facebook friends—if I don’t actually know you, I will not add you as a friend or accept a friend request.  I made my Instagram profile private so that anyone who wants to follow me has to request to do so, and I am pretty picky about who I accept.  My Instagram is mostly of my kids—so I don’t want any random creepo to have access to their pictures.  My life is lived, whether or not it’s displayed on social media.

But so many people don’t live by that mantra.  They accept Instagram as truth when really, it’s life through rose colored glasses.  Periodically, I will see someone wave the honesty flag and post a picture of laundry or their messy foyer.  And once, I saw someone post a stunning view of their living room, and then post a “behind the scenes photo” of all the clutter shoved into a corner so that they could take the perfect shot of the opposite corner of the room.  You know, the corner with the most fantastic natural light, perfect paint color and stainless furniture and spotless hardwoods (Heaven forbid that you have carpet!). 

So often, people will post a question and ask for opinion.  Just the other day, someone posted a poll question about whether or not they should dye their hair ends “baylage blonde.” Specifically, this dark brunette asked if she should dye her hair ends “LIGHT” blonde (she used caps).  Since she has naturally dark brunette hair, and olive skin, I thought blonde would look out of place, so I voted “no.”  At the end of the day, the results said “49% yes, 51% no.”  Since it was close, she went for it anyway and dyed her hair yesterday.  She posted a picture, and the ends of her hair looks more red than anything.  It’s surely not “LIGHT” by any means, and most definitely isn’t blonde by any stretch of the imagination.  But her post said something like “I went for it and I love it!”  And I realllllyyyy wanted to respond, “you didn’t really do what you said though since you didn’t dye the ends blonde.”  But I didn’t.  One, because I don’t actually care that much.  Two, I knew that if I was honest and posted anything remotely negative, people who have no skin in the game would jump on my back and essentially virtually whip me for my comment.  So I stayed quiet. This person received so many comments of “oh I love it!”  or “looks good!” or emojis of heart eyes or raised hands.  So. Many. Eggshells.

Honesty is rare now.  It is still a virtue, but it hardly ever drips onto anyone’s keyboard anymore.  We’re all so content to walk on eggshells so that we never disturb anyone else.  That’s not life, people. 

It’s almost like people think if they complement someone enough, or refuse to write anything negative (read: honest), then the person they’re praising will suddenly become their best friend and they’ll live a glamorous Instagram life.  Not true, people.  It’s just not true.

I follow someone who runs an essential oils program and I’m curious about the benefit of essential oils, and natural cleaners/deodorants/detergents/makeup/baby-wipes, etc.  This individual already was well established in the oils community for over a year when she had a health scare.  Although it turned out to be okay, her doctor told her that a lot of added hormones could have caused it.  Now, this could have been from food or synthetic cleaners/makeups, etc.  So she decided to totally wipe out her stock of cleaners and detergents and make up and candles and completely transition to natural products.  That’s super great and I’m super pumped for her, and so relieved that the medical scare was simply a scare.  But I don’t have her income.  I can’t immediately transfer all my cleaning products to natural ones.  I don’t have the cash to do that.  I’m not going to toss my make-up and baby wipes and diaper cream and detergent in favor of all natural products all in one fell swoop, because I simply cannot afford it right now.  Does that make me a lesser person?  It shouldn’t. 

But in some ways, I feel like she doesn’t understand.

I asked her if her eating habits changed since her medical scare, or if only her cleaning products and make up changed.  I told her I was considering adopting a whole foods diet rather than doing a total transition to natural cleaners.  She didn’t respond. 

In my opinion, if you’re still ingesting added hormones through food, what difference does it make if you wash your clothes with Thieves detergent and use wool dryer balls in lieu of dryer sheets? 

I told her that completely wiping out my stock pile of cleaners was expensive, and if the option is available to purchase deodorant and make up and detergent, and essential oils to diffuse rather than burning candles, where does the rabbit hole end?  This could add up to copious amounts of money, so where does it end? 

She didn’t respond.

So I asked if members of essential oil community receive the wholesale discount on every product (because I was interested in the diaper cream and baby wipes for my 4 month old), or if the discount only applied to the oils.  She did respond to that and said that the discount was for all products.

So today on her Instagram oil account (not her personal account), she had a post that said “Changing to oils is an investment.  Not an expense.”  I admit, I’m offended.  I don’t appreciate passive aggressiveness.  I sent her a message stating that I have real medical bills for my son that are horribly expensive, and I cannot afford to do a total overhaul right now. So I asked her if it’s more appropriate to order a starter kit to diffuse oils, or if it’s more practical to spend the money on buying natural detergents and baby wipes.  I am truly interested in joining the oils community, but I want to do my research and make the most impact for my family.  At the moment, I would think that would be using natural cleaners and baby products rather than simply diffusing oils in the air.

We’ll see what the verdict is.  I just don’t appreciate people acting like we all have limitless income and that I’m posing so many questions just to be difficult.  No.  I’m asking because I’m very interested in the responses since they will help guide me to how I can best serve my family in this realm. I’d like to be taken seriously.

In other completely separate news, a TV couple announced a pregnancy this week and America went wild.  Do I think all babies are gifts from God?  Of course I do.  But it is my opinion that this couple was a bit reckless and caved to popular opinion.  Americans love babies.  We dote on them and lavish gifts on expectant couples, and this is all fine.  But some people view celebrity pregnancies like how they view the inability to be honest in hopes that the person will become their best friend. 

No matter how many people tell this couple congratulations, it will not alter who this couple lets into their lives.  And although this couple is very well off financially (now), it will not deter Americans from purchasing gifts for them and finding some way to make sure the gifts are received. 

My thoughts go towards their other children—who are all several years older than this new baby will be.  Up to this point, their parents have shielded them from the limelight.  But how will that change?  America won’t be satisfied if we’re not kept in the loop throughout the whole pregnancy and birth.  So how will this couple choose to shield this baby from the limelight? Or will they?  Will this baby be the one who gets millions of pictures taken and plastered across all social media?  Will the siblings resent the baby for garnering so much outside attention? 

I believe if you know what it takes to get pregnant, establish your family, and then stop having children for several years, you certainly know what it takes not to get pregnant. So don’t blame a romantic concert on being “too romantic” which led to baby making.  No.  I think this couple has pretty much run the gamut of success.  Show, books, home décor, furniture, stores, bakery/restaurant, realty.  What next?  “Oh, how ‘bout a baby?  America hasn’t seen that from us yet.  Let’s do that, and play it off as ‘whoops.’”  Not buying it. 

I do sincerely hope that your family does well and that you relish in the blessings you have.  And I also hope that your other children don’t feel slighted as the baby will become the most sought after member of your family now. 

Again, these are simply my opinions and this is my blog, which seems like a good place to write all of this down.  I certainly can't put any of it on Instagram, for fear of being whipped.

Until Next Time,

Much Love, Reba